2015 Pennsylvania Preseason All-Name Team

By Jacob Gill
Philadelphia Region Director of Scouting

Today we are going to take a brief whimsical interlude from the very serious business of scouting and reporting on high school baseball. Below is our all-Name team for Pennsylvania heading into the 2015 season (poetic license occasionally taken with actual spelling of names).

Preseason Offensive Player of the Year: Pope John Paul II catcher/infielder Billy Hitman
Preseason Defensive Player of the Year: Altoona Area catcher (no, really) Catcher Cumming
Preseason co-Pitchers of the Year:
Springside Chestnut Hill RHP Gunnar Hayes
Upper St. Clair RHP Jesse Slinger
Conwell-Egan RHP Shane Souchuck

Would the Energizer equivalent of this battery even be able to run my wristwatch?
Conestoga pitcher Brendon Little & Downingtown West catcher Eric Small

425 miles separate these schools, but let's make this happen. I won't take No(ah) for an answer.
Lewisburg Area LHP Noah Inch vs Winfield (WV) RHP Noah Short

American History (outlaws edition)
Roman Catholic infielder Jesse James Murphy
Germantown Academy infielder Vince Capone
Northampton Area infielder Harley Davidson

Domestic (non-Austin edition)
Bishop McCort pitcher/utility Boston Bradley
Butler Area infielder/pitcher Dallas Hays
Boiling Springs pitcher Dakota Quigley
Mechanicsburg infielder Marc Hershey
Avella Area infielder Santino Paris
Penn Charter outfielder Adam Holland
Notre Dame Green Pond infielder Eric Santiago

Don't miss any (Downingtown West pitcher James) Meals (III)
Keep your (Mt. Lebanon pitcher Austin) Kitchen stocked with:
Pittsburgh Central Catholic pitcher Cameron Coco(a)
Dallastown Area catcher Bryant Holtzapple
Burgettstown pitcher Sam Hockenberry & Penncrest infielder Michael Lansberry
Central Dauphin East pitcher Justin Cherry & Northern Bedford County catcher Jake Cherry
West Mifflin pitcher Zach Salmon

A Brief History of (West Allegheny Pitcher Christian) Milletary Weaponry
1. Archbishop Wood outfielder/pitcher Joe Lancellotti & West Green infielder Dillon Shields
2. Woodland Hills infielder Ellis Cannon
3. New Castle outfielder Joseph Gunn

Not Until You're 21!
Plum outfielder Ethan Winesburgh
Harbor Creek outfielder Joseph Shotts

For Now, It's Still Against the (Knoch Infielder Chris) Law in Pennsylvania
If a (Elizabethtown pitcher/infielder Nick) Stoner
offers you (Bishop Guilfoyle catcher Andrew) Pot(opa)
to get (Plymouth Whitemarsh first baseman Brett) High(land)
Lest you run into trouble with the (Montour pitcher Todd) Police
who ask you if you want to do it the easy way or the (Devon Prep catcher Dominic) Hardaway
and then decide to (Springdale outfielder Adam) Lock
you in a (Penn Charter pitcher Brendan) Cell(ucci)
like just another (Penn-Trafford OF Chris) Common (Hatboro-Horsham IF Chris) Crook(ham).
You think your coach is tough? Try having to answer to the (Ephrata outfielder Charlie) Warden.
Much better to stay a (Bangor Area infielder Carson) Freeman.
The (Pennsbury pitcher/first baseman D.J.) End(ler)

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